JOANA & MIRA

If there were just one unspoken truth about motherhood, what would it be in your experience? What has surprised you the most or rather thrown you off balance? And why do you think this aspect is rarely addressed in public discourse? What are some common misconceptions about motherhood that you've encountered?

I think that is a tough question, there are many things that are hardly addressed … but the one that threw me off, was how most women actually go through a postpartum depression and the so called "baby blues". I started having a lot of negative thoughts in the beginning, but I have a really patient and caring partner who took his time and was safeguarding for any signs that would say "Ok, now you will need some further help". After one month, the baby blues passed.

Plus, I believe the topic of miscarriage remains highly sensitive and therefore deserves more attention and should be openly addressed more frequently. Women should be offered proper support from the very beginning of their pregnancy journey, regardless of the outcome.

A misconception would be that everything is super beautiful and wonderful. While it can be wonderful, a significant portion of it is also messy and challenging.

How has motherhood impacted your identity as a woman and sense of self?

I actually love this question! It absolutely made me more in touch with my true self and with my identity, even my style. I wanted my daughter to see the real me, I honestly feel like it just opened the doors for me to be my real self.

How do you as a mother reconcile your personal values and beliefs with the myriad choices you face in parenting, from discipline methods to educational approaches?

I honestly do not adhere to any discipline methods or educational approaches. As parents, we often find ourselves navigating parenthood spontaneously, actually just going with the flow. However, mostly I try to put myself into my daughter’s shoes, and I am very patient when addressing something more difficult (of course sometimes you lose your mind, but that is also fine, it is a natural human reaction that she should also probably have to live with most of her life).

How do the choices made during the early stages of motherhood impact your long-term personal and professional trajectory, and what strategies can empower you and mothers in general to navigate these choices with confidence and resilience?

My daughter was the best decision I have ever made, although I felt I might not have been ready yet, it really was the best surprise that ever swept me off my feet. I had a friend that once told me, "You can change your degree, your profession, but you can't change the family you built, this will stay with you forever".

I think what can empower other mothers is the knowledge I have now ... which is that you will get back to the person you used to be before, it just takes a bit of time and patience.

It seems like there this belief that somehow, in the most creative spheres, everything is easier because there are no antiquated structures, and it's assumed that everyone is open-minded and considerate. In your experience, how is motherhood perceived in the art world or creative scene?

In my experience, I had a range of emotions, mixed feelings, and experiences regarding this topic. I felt divided because, on one hand, my husband and our families were genuinely surprised and excited about this new chapter in our lives. However, within my artistic circle, there were many questions about whether I would truly go through with starting a family, as if it would somehow restrict my life and career. At times, I even felt a sense of “shame” for choosing to prioritize building a family … which upon reflection is completely nuts and beyond crazy.

So, I've found that the “artistic environment” can sometimes be hostile towards topics related to a heteronormative lifestyle. But honestly, I have amazing friends who celebrated this decision … and those who didn't support me are no longer part of my circle.

Have you ever felt like coworkers, employers and friends could do a better job in supporting mothers and parents in their journey? Have you ever felt like there is a lack of empathy and understanding … and have you ever encountered judgment or unsolicited advice?

Although I think I am lucky to have had an enormous support in my work environment by my closest work relationships and with my partner, I previously had a very mentally draining work experience. It was only later, in conversations with friends, that I realized many women face similar challenges when returning to work and I'm currently working on a project to address these issues. My hope is that it brings attention to and sheds light on these important matters.

Do you feel that gender influences societal perceptions and expectations of parenting … and if so … do these stereotypes impact both mothers and fathers in their roles as parents? 

I'm aware that these challenges exist, and throughout my journey as a mother, I've experienced various phases where these challenges become more apparent. I hesitate to attribute it to luck because it should be the norm rather than an exception. Fortunately, my partner also shares the responsibilities, even those traditionally seen as 'women's work.' As a feminist, I couldn't envision it any other way.

Are there any aspects of modern parenting or societal attitudes towards motherhood that tend to evoke frustration or anger in you as a mother?

Yes, probably this expectation that you can do anything and everything while having a child. In our generation some of us were very blessed to immigrate and be able to live abroad, which was our case as parents, therefore we do not have constant support from grandparents. This is hard when you live far away from your family, it frustrates me that sometimes I cannot do certain projects because that might implicate a great portion of my time that I cannot afford to lose. Yet, I've come to accept that my daily dynamic has changed. I've found fulfillment in being busy with my daughter and work. And for now, that's more than enough.

In your opinion, what are the underlying reasons why some men, despite identifying as feminists, may exhibit a lack of tangible support for women, particularly in the realm of motherhood, and how can this be addressed effectively?

It seems that some men who fail to support women in motherhood may not have genuinely embraced feminist values from the start, which I unfortunately encountered many times. This lack of support comes from their own uneducation about what happens to women in motherhood, not just physically but also mentally. It is a challenging chapter and some women might have a harder time than others, these kinds of men probably have never taken the time to fully understand what women in general go through in their lives.

I believe this is something that should be taught and addressed in education as well. Because this misinformation and lack of empathy sometimes can also stem from women who consider themselves feminists. So, when learning about the cycle of life, it's essential for everyone to understand the profound impact it has on a woman's life and body. Perhaps then, men would also begin to comprehend why some women find certain phases of motherhood particularly challenging.

As of now you are owning three INA KENT bags. :) What is your favorite and why?

My favourite is definitely DINKUM ed.2 patent black, it is just so practical with all the crazy stuff I carry around. Although I love small bags, I had to learn the hard way that I can't wear them that often anymore, haha.

You are (among other things) a stylist … and you have a large collection of clothes and accessories consisting of many colourful items. Your personal style is very vibrant and never boring, mastering the discipline of unexpectedly combining your pieces. We’d say the mix of different patterns and layering belongs to your USP … :) How has your personal style changed since becoming a mother?

I had to learn how to love my "new" body, which actually inspired me to experiment even more. Instead of feeling pressured to fit into my pre-pregnancy size small, I decided to embrace signature pieces that I loved. It was liberating and incredibly fun! I love my style now … and my body; and my daughter really helped me with this journey in a way! I think she likes to see how much fun I have wearing all these different things; and she sometimes gets surprised, haha.

What is one item that can solely be found in Joanas bag?

Probably half eaten snacks from my daughter.

What do you appreciate most about INA KENT bags?

Well, needless to say … the space! But also, that they are modular, and can be styled in different ways. They honestly also look good with any outfit! :)

How do INA KENT bags contribute to your daily life, and do they by any chance offer any support in aspects of parenting as well?

Yes, I take everything in them, including my daughter's toys. It may look cool on the outside, but inside, it's a total unorganized mess.

JOANA'S CHOICES